i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
