he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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