i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
