You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
