Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
thus making me awesome and them whores
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
