My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
