i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
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You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
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That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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