i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So squirting runs in the family.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
