Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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