I'd wear matching sweaters with you
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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