He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
