If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
accomplished twins. life is a go
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
