This girl is more easily done than said...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
pop tarts are not kleenex
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
