Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
