I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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