so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
