When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
