what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
