we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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