He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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