Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
two words...techno handjob
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Let's get the cat blown out
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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