sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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