Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
