i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize