I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
