Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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