Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
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Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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