i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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