Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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