she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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