i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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