oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
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I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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