A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
