i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
