hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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