omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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