matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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