just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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