suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
