Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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