My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
