Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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