I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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