I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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