All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
