I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
