My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
