he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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