How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
