i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
