Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i dont even know how to be here
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
