i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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