If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
