wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.