i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.