my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
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She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.