Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom