The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.