i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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