Christians are straight up FREAKS
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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