please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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