this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize