I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
