You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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